Warrior Dash 2012

A 3 mile run, rope climbing, scaling walls, diving in mud, and leaping over fire. Nothing wrong with that. It's the Warrior Dash!!

Our race began at 10am at the Dillingham Ranch on Oahu's north shore. Myself, Waimea, Sheri, Dan, Kelli, Jen, and Lyle were the warriors of the day. No time target, no training, just one goal: have a damn good time. We checked in and were given timing chips, t-shirts, and viking hats...oh yeah that's right, viking hats! The staff explained that we can redeem the timing chip after the race for a free beer. So rule number one: Do not lose the timing chip.

The place was lively with more people showing up by the minute. I must have seen ten different people dressed as Braveheart's William Wallace, all types of warrior face paint, girls in honey-bee costumes, Batman and Robin, Superman in a speedo, and a large Samoan guy dressed up as an angel. Crazyness, and I like it!

Before
Lyly, Jen, Waimea, Kelli, Me, Dan, Sheri

The starting line was marked with a large metal frame with dual flame-throwers on top of it that spit fireballs into the air. We could feel the heat from 50 feet away. The run began and we were off at a steady trot.

We ran along a dirt path for the first mile. With so many feet working, plenty of dirt got kicked up. It was dusty as hell. It was getting in my eyes, in my throat, and wherever else it could get to.

We made it to the first obstacle: The Teetering Traverse. A test of balance and agility where we had to follow a narrow track that inclined about 8 feet off the ground, before declining back down. One misstep and it's straight path down to the ground. We carefully - some more carefully than others - made our way up and over.

Up next was the first of two rope climbs. A dual test of strength and courage. The first wall was about twenty feet high and angled. I made my way up and over. The opposite side of the wall was a series of horizontal 2x4's which served as a ladder to get back down to ground. Immediately after was the next rope climb, called the Great Warrior Wall. This was a vertical climb. Luckily the wall had several boards to serve as footholds. This climb was more of a challenge but we all made it over without a problem.

We climbed over and arched structure, no biggie. Jogged a bit more. Then we came to a series of chest-high walls to jump over and low beams to duck or crawl under. So we went high, low, high, low, high, low, high, and low again. This one was a little tiring and was the first obstacle where we had to get down to the ground.

We jogged a bit further and came to another wood structure to climb over followed by the Chaotic Crossover, a cargo net suspended about ten feet off the ground supported by a wooden frame. Jen tried to be sneaky and avoid the nets by walking along the frame but Lyle didn't let her get away with that. Most people crawled across the net but I had another idea. Why crawl when you can roll? I somersaulted all the way across the nets. It worked rather well.

We rounded a corner and came to a net about three feet off the ground. Time to get low! Waimea and I crouched and ran under the net. Immediately after the net was a section of obstructions that required us to get even lower and crawl under and around them. We came to a drink station and took a break. It was Lyle the spurred us forward with the line that would become the motto of the event, “there's free beer at the finish!”

We continued on. The next section of pathway was covered in thick grass. Dan and Sheri got tripped up and I had to watch my step. Thinking back on it, running over the thick grass was to most challenging part of the course.

After another long stretch of jogging we came to the next obstacle: The Assassin's Escape (gotta be the coolest name of all the obstacles). Basically, it's a series of steps that lead up to a fireman's pole which you slide down. We climbed the steps and each of us got our own pole. Waimea decided to show off his pole dancing skills with some maneuver where he wrapped one leg around the pole and spiraled down it. Lyle responded simply, “it's disturbing that you know that.”

Another water break, another jog and we came to the water section. We jumped into a small lake and traversed through chest-high water for about 150 yards. I found out it's harder to flutter kick with shoes on, I was also mindful to keep my shoe on my foot since my timing chip was attached to it. Gotta get that free beer at the finish.

There were some floating jugs creating a couple of barriers to climb over. Most people actually tried to climb over carefully. Me, not so much. I jumped over the first one backwards like a high jumper and dove over the second one head first. Found out the water tasted kinda funny but I got over the barriers swiftly.

Soaking wet, chanting “free beer at the finish,” we rounded to the next obstacle, the most daunting looking one: The Warrior Roast. We had to leap over two lines of fire. The flames were higher than expected and I realized I really had to jump or I might get burned. I didn't feel much heat even though I'm pretty sure I touched some of the flames. But I could hear the water dripping off me sizzling from the heat. Awesome!

Gettin dirty in the mud pit

Two more obstacles and we're finished. First was a large cargo net to climb over. It was about 25-30 feet high. At cruised at the top to take in the view. Crowds lined the sides, other warrior dashers were leaping through flames, a band was playing rock music, and up ahead was the finish line...right after a giant watery mud pit. Time to get dirty.

After
Lyle, Waimea, Me, Dan, Kelli, Jen, Sheri

We all got to the mud and found that barbed wire was strewn across it forcing us to go low and get in it, “let's get low!” I yelled. Waimea slid in head first and I followed. I crawled like a lizard only able to keep my head above the mud. I flipped onto my back to see how everybody else was doing, accidentally slashing mud into Sheri's face (my bad). We were all in it crawling and sprawling in the muddy mess. We scrambled out of the pit and trudged our mud-drenched selves across the finish line. We were covered from our necks down in mud.

We washed off in the Warrior Wash, which is just a pond. It took a while to get all the mud off but eventually my skin turned from brown back to white. We emerged from the wash and wasted no time redeeming our timing chips for our beer because after all, there's free beer at the finish!!

There's Free Beer At the Finish!
Dan, myself, Waimea, Kelli, Lyle, Jen, Sheri
Thanks to Charlie for taking all the pictures

How I Spent My St. Paddy's Day

The following morning I woke up to find green beads on my dresser, a fading Jameson tattoo on my neck, and zero aches in my head. A dry throat was swiftly cured with a glass of water and a rumbling stomach was remedied with an omelet. As I cooked and ate I reflected on the day before:

The day began at 9am. Breakfast, laundry, workout, shower. Then it was time to meet DC and Jimmy to check out what was going on at Murphy's in downtown Honolulu. Murphy's is an Irish pub and restaurant that, surprisingly, I've never been to but every year they host a St. Patrick's Day block party. It starts at noon and goes on until 10pm. During the afternoon things are pretty tame. There were food booths set up along with a few places to get beer and Celtic Maui T-shirts. I wanted some food.

I got a corned-beef and cabbage sandwich with some fries. I've never really been a huge corned-beef fan but this was pretty good. Then I came across somebody selling whiskey cake. Now how could I possibly pass that up? It was awesomely delicious.

This was the first event I've been to in Hawaii where the majority of people were white. Me, DC, and Jimmy were joking about it. At one point I realized DC was the only Filipino there, “how's it feel to be the minority for once!” I said.

There wasn't much going on downtown in the afternoon but I could see cases of Jameson being unloaded and stages being setup for that night. The real party begins when the sun goes down.

The three of us walked around the downtown area for a while and somehow ended up at the state museum of art...not sure if that's what it's called but it's next to the state capitol. We checked out some art.

I came across one cubist-style painting. Reminded me of Picasso a bit. With Picasso, even though it's abstract if I look at his work for a minute at different angles and distances I'll eventually start making some sense of it or at least start to have some kind of emotional reaction. But with this painting, nothing. It was just confusing so I left. Another painting that stands out in my mind was titled Death Scene. It was slightly abstract painted using only black, red, and pink. Even though there were no solid figures I could see a scene of people slaughtering and being slaughtered. Kind of morbid but it was cool. It was fun going from one artwork to another and switching back and forth between appreciation to making fun of it.

Now there's a Picasso for ya!

After the art museum we walked through the State Capitol Building and peeked inside the state senate and house of representatives. The rooms were small, uncomfortable looking, and both were adorned with a chandelier made of nautilus shells. I hear those things piss off any environmental groups that end up there.

The sun was getting low and DC and Jimmy had to leave. It was almost time to for me to head back downtown to meet some more friends for the next phase of the Murphy's block party.

Sundown, back to downtown! Parking was surprisingly easy to find and the streets were packed with green. I met up with Kalani, Marlon, and Lori. A few minutes later Waimea showed up. I remembered the cases of Jameson from earlier in the day and Waimea and I set forth toward them. Jameson with ginger ale, good. Jameson with coke, good. Jameson straight, nothin wrong with that.

Waimea and I circled back to where everybody else was and Pilita and her friend Lynea (I hope I spelled that correctly) had showed up. They needed a drink, we had a solution. That's right, more Jameson!

This time on our way to the Jameson stand I noticed people had fake Jameson tattoos. I needed one. As I paid for another Jameson with ginger ale I asked for a tattoo and the ladies working there promptly slapped one on my neck. Nothin like advertising how much whiskey you have running through your veins.

We cruised around the block party a little more. One stage had an Irish rock band playing. The other stage was a DJ playing hip-hop. When I stood in the middle of the block party I could hear both and I didn't know if I wanted to bounce or river dance...not like I can really do either.

Our group left the Murphy's area and we walked around downtown for a while. I picked up a Gatorade to rehydrate and thin out the whiskey a bit. But it wasn't long before more drinks were back on the menu and we made our way to some place called Da Vin, it's near the Honolulu Theater. It was packed with a line out the door so we went to another place a few doors down. It was also packed, but no line out the door. Still too crowded. Finally we decided to go to a bar in the Japanese Culture Center...yeah, I wasn't sure I heard that right at first but I guess part of Japanese culture includes small, kinda dingy bars.

Sticking with the Irish theme I had a Guiness Black and when the waitress brought it she gave me some green beads. There was a cover band playing. I requested Dropkick Murphys but to my dismay they didn't know any. At least they played some Journey and Cranberries so that was all right.

The night wound down steadily. Throughout the night I had plenty whiskey in my veins and hearty laughs in my lungs. It was a good St. Paddy's Day!

Historical did-ya-know: St. Patrick originally wore blue. He switched to green likely to be in theme with the Shamrock, which he used to illustrate the holy trinity as he spread Christianity throughout Ireland.