SPARTANS!! What is your profession!!
Well it wasn't quite that amped up but
it was still pretty fun. The Spartan Race made it to Hawaii for the
first time. For those who may not know, the Spartan Race is a 5k run
with a little over 20 obstacles along the way. It sounded awesome so
some friends and I signed up as soon as registration opened. We had
months to train for it and condition our bodies to conquer each
obstacle. So naturally, we took it easy, got lazy, didn't train, and
some even forgot about the race altogether and needed to be reminded.
Good thing our plan was to take it easy!
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| Sheri, Jen, Myself, and Sterling. Game-faces! |
The Course & Obstacles
The course wound through beautiful
Kualoa Ranch. For those familiar with the Xterra run, it's the same
area. It's tucked within a lush valley right next to a pristine
beach, it's about as scenic of a running venue you could ever have.
We started at a steady jog and soon came to the first obstacle:
Over-Under-Over. Hop over a 4 foot wall, crawl under a 2 foot
barrier, then over a 4 foot wall again. Simple right? It was. Next we
trudged through a steady stream. The water came up to my chest. The
course wasted no time getting us soaked.
The next obstacle was climbing over a 5
foot wall. No problem for me but my friend Sheri, who is about five
feet tall, had some issues. She forgot to jump and basically ran into
the wall. On her second attempt she remembered to jump and made it
over with no embarrassing collisions.
We jogged through some jungle terrain
for a while and came to the net climb. It wasn't your typical cargo
net, it was made of thinner material. I had to be a little more
mindful of where I put my feet and made it up no problem.
Then we had to climb up a 6 foot wall.
A bit harder this time. I couldn't simply hop up and over but had to
pull myself up high enough to swing my leg over. Sheri and Jen got a
boost from Sterling, who being 6'4 or something like that became the
designated boost-guy.
Next we came to a 7 foot wall...hmm,
I'm noticing a pattern here. This one was hard. Sterling boosted Jen
and Sheri over. I wanted to try it on my own but Sterling was there
to spot me if needed. I got a running start, jumped, and pulled my
elbows over the top of the wall. Then I sort of wormed my way up the
wall until I could bring my foot up to the lip. I swung myself up and
over only to realize I had flung myself into a 7 foot drop. My weight
was a little too far forward and when I hit the ground I damn near
rolled forward as a result of the impact but instead I stumbled with
my arms out in front of me like a klutz. I managed not to fall but I
think rolling would've been a less stressful way to deal with the
landing...it would've looked cooler too.
We continued along the course at a
brisk walking pace joking about how the obstacles just seem to be
walls that get progressively higher. So what could the next obstacle
be? An 8 foot wall? Yep, that's exactly right! Ok, this one was a
challenge. With a running start I jumped, reached, and managed to get
my elbows over the lip of the wall. Just like the last wall, I wormed
my way up until I could swing my leg up. However instead of just
flinging myself over I sat on top of the wall first, steadily got my
other leg up and over, and lowered myself down the other side facing
the wall. It was a much gentler way to get myself down.
Sterling got over the wall with the
help of a fellow Spartan Racer. The two of us then went back to help
boost Jen and Sheri over. Sterling provided a foothold while I lifted
them up so they could reach the lip. They got up and over no problem,
now that's freakin teamwork!
Eventually we came to the tire pull,
which was pretty cool. Pick up a tire, which is tied to a stake in
the ground, carry it until the rope is taught, then go back and use
the rope to pull the tire back. Another cool obstacle was the
transverse wall climb. Instead of going up and over, you scale along
the side of the wall like a ninja. Wood pegs provide small hand and
footholds. For me, the key to this one was to keep calm, spot where
your foot was going to land, and move at your own pace. Don't rush or
stall, keep moving but move at your own rate. I watched several
people try to go too fast and slip off the wall while others stalled
out and fell because their grips fatigued.
There were a few obstacles that were
just loops. Drag some concrete blocks in a loop. Carry a bag of sand
in a loop. Carry a concrete block from point A to point B then back
to point A. These obstacles weren't all that fun. It's just going in
a loop. You don't get anywhere or progress along the course so meh.
Crawling under barbed wire wasn't fun
either, which is what several obstacle had us do. For starters, the
wires sag a lot so we had to lift them up in order to get under them
without getting snagged. Then the ground is made to be wet and muddy
which slows things down and we always got jammed up. But the worst
part is that the ground is really rocky and we got all scraped and
cut up, which didn't feel too great because each cut was instantly
filled with mud.
Towards the end of the race we came to
one of the most challenging obstacles of the day: a muddy rope climb.
Picture a large pit filled with about 4 feet of muddy water with 9
ropes hanging into it. At the top of each rope is a bell you have to
ring to signal success. We watched person after person climb, slip,
and splash down in the muddy pit. A few made it to the top. The crowd
would rally behind those who got close to the top but stalled out
just barely out of reach of the bell. Some were able to make the
final surge to the bell while some valiantly tried but came up short.
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| The rope climb. I climbed the rope on the far right |
I closely watched those who made it to
the bell and noticed they utilized their legs a lot for the climb.
Those who couldn't quite get their legs in place slipped. All the mud
was making the ropes slick and hand grip alone didn't seem to be
enough to hang on.
Ok, having noted that it was my turn.
Before I started to climb I fished around in the muddy water with my
leg to find the bottom part of the rope. I got my legs around it then
began to climb. Surprisingly, the rope wasn't as slippery as I
thought it would be and I pulled my self up. The knots in the rope
provided good footholds too. I got to the section where there wasn't
much mud on the rope and thought I was golden. There should be enough
grip to pull with my arms alone. I was wrong. The rope was actually
slicker, what the heck! I slid down a few inches and had to catch
myself before I slid all the way. Ok, gut-check time. Figure out a
way to make it to the bell or slide back down. I made it pretty high,
no shame in backing out and sliding back down right? Nah, I wanted to
get to that bell!
There were no more knots for me to
utilize in the top section of the rope so it would be a bit tricky to
climb the last couple of feet. I remembered about how other people
used their legs so I gripped tight with my hands, squeezed with my
legs, and wormed my way up. The legs gave the extra grip I needed. I
got up a little bit and felt that was as far as I could go. I looked
up to see how far away the bell was and to my surprise it was right
there in front of me. I reached up, rang it, and carefully slid back
down into the mud. A quick note for the guys, when sliding down,
don't squeeze too much with your legs because your crotch might slide
over a knot. Trust me, it doesn't feel good...
The next obstacle required us to use a
rope to scale over a steeply angled wooden wall. It wouldn't be hard
at all if it was dry but it was muddy as hell. Several people lost
their footing and slid down the wall. One guy fell so hard he twisted
his ankle. Ok, this one could be dangerous so mind your footing. I
told the others the goal is not to get hurt so if they feel their
feet slipping just focus on controlling the fall and slide down
easily.
Sterling went first. He scaled the wall
to the top but as he reach the lip his feet slipped. He no longer had
his hands on the rope but had his fingers over the lip of the wall.
He tried but couldn't pull himself up and slid back down. It was just
too slippery.
Jen went next. She scaled the rope to
the top and a fellow Spartan Racer helped pull her up and over the
top. The same guy helped Sheri up and over.
My turn. The rope and wall was slippery
as hell but I got to the top. I reached for the lip of the wall
expecting to be able to grab onto something and have enough grip to
pull myself up the rest of the way but it didn't happen quite like I
imagined. All I felt was slippery mud on a flat surface. There was
barely anything to grip onto. I almost lost it and slid back down the
wall but I still had my other hand on the rope. I dug my fingers into
the muddy surface of the wall and strained to use what little rope I
had left to pull myself up a little more. I didn't let go of the rope
until I got my weight over the top of the wall. I made my way over
nice and steady. It was really slick and I knew I wasn't safe from
slipping until I was completely over the wall.
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| The final challenge: Spartans with padded sticks! |
The final obstacle involved jumping
over a low fire and then running through a gauntlet of “Spartans”
wielding padded staffs who try to whack you, ala American Gladiator
style, as you run to the finish line. I jumped over the fire and
began to charge the Spartans. The first one locked onto me and got
ready to swing. I sped up and feinted charging right at him only to
stop right as he began his swing. The dude whiffed and lost his
balance a little. I got a kick out of that. I casually jogged through
the rest of the gauntlet taking gentle whacks from Spartans. I made
the last guy miss using the same feint maneuver as the first guy and
then easily jogged across the finish. Good run!
Critique and the Crowd
Ok, time to let the inner critic out.
Logistically, the event was messed up. We had to park 1.5 miles away
from the race event. It wasn't really fun trekking back along a
narrow highway when tired and worn out from the race. The event area
was really spread out. It took 10 to 15 minutes to walk from one side
to the other. They should have done what Xterra does and let us park
on the valley floor and consolidate all the tents in one area.
There's still enough space to fit everything else.
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| Kualoa Ranch. Beautiful venue but notice how spread out everything is. |
They had music playing to set the tone
of the event, which was cool. The problem was there were two tents
playing different music. Then there were Taiko drummers playing too.
It was just too many different sounds clashing against each other.
The finisher shirt they gave away is
pretty cool except for the ridiculously large “Rebok” printed on
it. But even more annoying is that they give you the shirt at the
finish line while you're still covered in mud. I don't want to put my
muddy hand prints all over a brand new shirt. Couldn't they put them
in a plastic bag or let us pick them up after we've cleaned up a bit?
I liked that they had changing tents we
could use. Other mud runs I've been to don't offer these so this was
a very nice touch.
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| The beach turned brown by the time we left |
The cleaning station was pretty well
set up. It was a network of hoses so individuals could wash off after
the race. Much better than the community-style wash stations other
runs have used. However, it's so crowded and there's so much mud to
clean off that the wait is ridiculously long. My friends and I didn't
want to wait in that line so we walked to the beach right across the
street and jumped in the ocean. It was so relaxing to get in the salt
water. It even helped to clean out our cuts. I'm just glad we were
one of the first people to do this because it didn't take long for
others to catch on and by the time we left the ranch that section of
beach was brown from all the mud.
Most of the people we met along the
course were friendly and cool. However, there was the occasional
runner that believed they really were a Spartan. They wanted to go,
go, go and got annoyed at everybody when there was a delay. Here's
some of the things we heard:
“No rest, get running!”
“what's wrong, you afraid of a little
mud?”“do you want to live forever?” - seriously, this doesn't make sense
“I feel like I'm stuck in traffic, green means go people!” - I don't know what this guy saw but there weren't any traffic lights along the course.
“I'm pretty sure that's cheating.” a guy said when seeing us help each other through the barbed wire. Hello?? Spartans were all about teamwork. Doesn't he know how a phalanx works??
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| Victory shot of Sterling |
I know some people want to push
themselves but they have to realize there are thousands of people
participating and only so many people at a time can go through an
obstacle. Chill out and run by when the course opens up. And if you
really are that serious about blazing through the course, sign up for
the very first wave so there won't be anybody in front of you to hold
things up.
The event staff was awesome. The guy at
the start line had a good speech to amp up the crowd in good Spartan
fashion. The volunteers along the way were enthusiastically
encouraging. They gave advice on how to get through the obstacles
when needed and had their own Spartan like lines to pump us up. Some
of them even understood my cheesy comments about getting those pesky
Persians. They made the event more enjoyable for sure.
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| Victory shot of Jen |
In The End
I had fun cruising through the course.
The obstacles were fun and challenging. Just be ready to get covered
in mud, there's simply no way around it. I recommend bringing a
change of clothes, slippers, and a water bottle for after the race. I
also recommend having an awesome group of friends to have fun along
the course with. Hopefully the Spartan Race comes back again so we
can cruise through it once more. Or maybe I'll get in the first wave
and see how fast I can get through the whole thing...we'll see :)
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| Victory shot of yours truly |
