Changes

Been thinking about how things, well mostly people, change. Sometimes sudden and obvious. Other times gradual and subtle. The sudden ones are a shock for sure. Like losing a job – or getting one, breaking a bone, meeting someone new. But the subtle changes are the ones that sneak up on you. When you realize that something is different you start to wonder how long it's been that way. I'll share something from my experience.

I had a friend, let's call this friend Mike. Now Mike was a pretty good guy, watched out for the people close to him. Wouldn't back down from a fight if it meant sticking up for a friend. Good laughs and good times with that guy. But one day I noticed a change in him that I hadn't noticed happening. What I first noticed was a difference in the way he talked. Lot's of the word “I” in the things he said. Mike couldn't help but talk about himself when before he often talked about others or general ideas. Even if the conversation was completely unrelated to him Mike would find a way to make it about himself, something he did, somebody he knew, or something that rooted back to him. Once I noticed that it became difficult to listen to the guy. I mean, how much can you really take of somebody who only talks about themselves?

Next Mike became increasingly angry with things. Small things, big things, thing out of his control, and imaginary things. Just irritated at stuff whenever it came up. Like if it was too cloudy outside he'd be annoyed. If his boss gave an extra assignment the sky would be falling down. A burger was overcooked the cook must have it out for him. Even things in video games irritated the guy. At times I would just think, “relax dude, just breathe it'll be all right.”

So there I was with a long time friend who had grown annoying and aggravated. I even tossed around the idea that Mike had grown into a narcissist. What to do? Well, that's a different story, what really bewildered me was how he had changed. It was gradual to me because I hung out with the guy so often I just didn't notice. It's like watching hair grow. It's short until one day you realize it's gotten kind of long. Not much of a middle ground.

But it got me wondering how I've changed. I don't really bother to find out what people think of me. Wonder if I should? I would like to say I've become more independent but that might be seen as being solitary and isolated. I'd like to say I've gotten more in tune with my creative side, but that's more of a personal journey so many may not notice.

I guess the point of this is to say that things change and people change (as they should) but I never really look at myself and how I've changed. If a good friend can change in such a way, how can I say that I haven't undergone something similar? When I realized how Mike had changed I started to watch myself. Make sure to not mimic Mike's newer habits. If it felt like I was talking about myself too much I would either shut up or swap myself for somebody else. Try not to sweat the small stuff – I prefer my burgers well done anyway.

Well, my train of thought just derailed. Not really sure where I was going with this one. Just something I was musing about.